The Art Of The Screamer
Modern football might be robotic, but there is still room for genius.
By Patric Ridge
In the wake of Sunday’s drab Manchester derby, Gary Neville led the charge on the criticism of modern football — its robotic nature; the lack of ingenuity or the space for players to express themselves; the cagey nature of some of the biggest games.
To an extent, it’s true, but then perhaps that was just down to watching two underperforming sides that were too afraid to lose to take risks. Manchester City are far from the force they have been, and Manchester United are just, well, bad. Was it any surprise to see that particular fixture fall flat?
Flash forward a few days, and a few moments of genius had lit up the Champions League quarter-finals.
It doesn’t make Neville, or those others who are a bit jaded with modern football wrong (though, this writer would argue, that could be more down to there being too much football than the quality of it), but it does go to show there is still room for some moments of magic.
There were three sensational strikes on Tuesday — two of them coming from one player.
But before we get to those pair of sensational Declan Rice free-kicks in Arsenal’s 3-0 win over Real Madrid, we should check back on Lautaro Martinez’s opener for Inter in their 2-1 victory at Bayern Munich.
A rapid counter-attack culminated in Marcus Thuram flicking it back into the path of the onrushing Martinez, who dispatched a pinpoint, first-time, outside-of-the-foot finish high into the back of the net. Exquisite. A top-class player doing top-class things.
And so, we head over to the Emirates, where it was a case of bend it like Declan, as Rice put Arsenal in control with two incredible free-kicks in the space of 12 second-half minutes.
His first, from the right of centre, a whipped effort around the wall that arched wide before arrowing into the right-hand corner. His second, coming slightly from the left centre, followed a similar, but slightly higher path — top bins.
Play a game of follow the ball…
Not to be outdone, Europe’s two best-performing sides claimed first-leg victories.
Barcelona have surely put themselves into the semi-finals with a 4-0 rout of Borussia Dortmund, but the truly special goals came as Paris Saint-Germain hit back to beat Aston Villa 3-1 at the Parc des Princes, where Désiré Doué and Khvicha Kvaratskhelia stole the show.
Morgan Rogers’ breakaway goal put Villa ahead, but the Ligue 1 champions just had too much quality in the final third.
With all the adulation for Ousmane Dembélé this term, Doué has perhaps snuck under the radar, unless you are tuning in to watch Luis Enrique’s team week in, week out.
Given the nod on the right flank of PSG’s attack, with Bradley Barcola dropping to the bench, Doué netted a quite stunning equaliser, cutting inside and sending a wicked, dipping shot from the cusp of the area in off the underside of the crossbar — Emiliano Martinez, Public Enemy No.1 in Paris, only able to watch as it crashed in.
Doué is right up there with Europe’s most promising youngsters, and he proved why.
There was more to come, though.
Kvaratskhelia has been one of European football’s great entertainers since his move to Napoli in 2022, and the Georgian has maintained that form at PSG.
Just on as a half-time substitute, Axel Disasi was left bewildered and stumbling as Kvaratskhelia — having driven in from the left wing — teased and toyed with him before a sumptuous roll of the stood left him in the dust.
But the finish that followed was even better: A left-foot rocket that had just enough swerve to beat Martinez and clatter in off the left-hand upright. Incroyable.
Nuno Mendes finished things off in second-half stoppage time, and his effort wasn’t bad either, a dummy to open up space for a right-footed shot into a gaping net.
All in all, not bad going for a sport that has been stripped of its magic.
Again, a few things can be true at once, but there is still beauty to be had in this game, for all its flaws.
A few screamers never hurt anybody.
There are always going to be games that lack entertainment or tenacity from both sides (as we saw in the Manchester Derby), but that simply isn't the case the majority of the time. If Neville was only singling that game out and saying that it was a dull encounter, then I wouldn't have a problem, but to use that game to make a general comment seems ridiculous to me. Great piece mate.